"Maps, symbols, mandalas, petroglyphs and other symbolic works are used all over the world to express the link between the inner and the outer, between the self and the world, the individual and the environment. Such maps enrich us and bind us together. As we have seen, they are synchronicities, patterns of meaning and connection between the mental, spiritual and material worlds."

Taken from The Philosophers Stone - Chaos, Synchronicity and the hidden order of the world.'

By F.David Peat

The site has been active since 1997 and was started in order to share an array of valuable (perceived) image files I had begun to collect and create with some simple pc software. THIS was the first image I ever accidentally (without conscious intention) found myself drawing with Microsoft Paint and slowly found my world opening up in places I didn't know (or had forgotten) existed. Perhaps deservedly so at the time, the presentation (representation?) of the images became important in the scheme of things. I figured that doors were symbols for many things, and so my place on the net needed something to represent such.

The first web site background and thus the front 'door' of the site was white, in direct opposition to the popular black background sites I had become accustomed to viewing on the web at the time.

The image of Jack B Nimble graced the front alone. Historically enough, this image later seemed to represent the possibilities of all my future designs and also foretold my love of erh... jumping. It also showed a candle which was in later life to become my number one essential item in different types of meditation.

The next door was slightly more brazen, as I was growing in confidence and trying to represent the 'awesome' tools that I seemed to have uncovered. The name Conundrum also came into view even though the site address was still cyjack.com. In the image, the brightness of thought, the metaphor of the moon, astral space in the midst of red biological cell life and the vertical presentation of the totem were the themes wishing to be expressed. I felt I had found a new language with which to communicate with, and it allowed access to some amazing possibilities. In many ways, I was uncertain of the full scope of these things and of the role I had to play in them, so all things appeared to be a conundrum to me. At this time I was regularly right-brain drawing in an effort to release some of the still unconscious energy that I was not able to focus into the conscious light.

The next site design had my name all over it, though it was still labeled Conundrum. Even though I had unraveled myself somewhat further and concluded that 'all things were possible', I was still slightly cautious about making declarations of what exactly was going on. There was no one in the local space to discuss my situation with, although the normally silent 'Other' was by this time quite active and playing an open hand as my guide through the realms.

This was the real 'turning of the page' in terms of feeling comfortable with what I was doing and more confident that I was not going crazy, but just steering through socially unmentionable cultural taboos. Now armed with the similar experiences of Terence McKenna (TMK) and the powerful influences of the Overmind, it was full steam ahead for this ship in the ocean of chaos. Pictures like THIS, THIS and THIS were leading me deeper into the causal matrix and to my good fortune, I felt very much at home.

Having then reached the hub of what I could only describe as the Holy Grail, I felt no need to post a separate front door for the next site transformation and instead went with a front index page of links with as little direct verbal explanation of anything as possible. I felt that my experiences and following conclusions were becoming more and more obvious and thus more and more separate from the normally constructed world of television and simian law, so I attempted to create as much ambiguity as possible to distract from my paddling through the turbulence of widely accepted social order.

Some time later, believing that there was no point in trying to be honest if I could not also be creative and allow my written work to accompany the abstract art as they had always done in my local sphere, I soon adopted a more user friendly style or organisation incorporating visual and auditory jewels as well as the always present ambiguity. I also hoped to verbalise more of the ideas so as to complete a portion of this perceived 'human wave'.

Thus the site will inevitably change through the passage of moments and I am certain that the future will surprise me as much as it does anyone else. After all, there is much more to this moment than meets the eye. Isn't there?

~

Note A* Updated 09 August 2009

The original purpose of this site was to share information both in and of a realm that seemed at least to the writer to be universally accessible and limitless. The fact that personal indulgences and flaws would also be shared via the same transmissions was not initially a concern, following the Platonic ideal that the truth (what ever it was) was good and that the good was beautiful. How could one not then, wish to share such?

It was only much later, after arriving at some rather startling conclusions about the complexity and nature of the human condition, that the stark idealistic expressions placarded across the internet here appeared in some ways to be sharpened way too jagged for the casual compass. From this, projections of eventual misunderstandings prompted at first the masking and then a retracting of the written endeavor towards a more simplistic and retarded destination. 'Harm to the undiagnosed and confused' as it was felt, was to be avoided at all costs until such time as the tracks on which the trains of thought ran along, could be examined by the cosmic equivalent of an OH&S committee.

Now, even as the remaining organised spirits repeat their final cautions about careful administration of such recognised fruits, it is gladly imparted that the original purpose of the principle individual and the web site born from its eventual expressions had never died or withered, but instead been placed in some almost strange and ritualistic review, for, and under its own authoritative systems, towards the resolution of the aforementioned concerns. It had long been held that the flows of divine creation were not always led towards straight avenues, but could instead be held aloft in cyclic whirlpools of activity for some time. It is from these ways that they are remolded by a true sincerity towards the recovery of the initial goals previously reported.

As such energies are now returning to their previous modality, it inspires the writer to once again encourage the seeker to trust in the almost archaic idealistic adventure of beauty, truth and all the other essences that are more often than not, only ever found in the one place, perhaps only in the one time and occur almost like sparks in the night for the eventual benefit of all; even though they may initially only warm the fires of the one. It is towards this venture that this site will slowly be returned to its former ambiguous specifications in the hope that those that can see, will reflect that it can be known and in some or other rather riskee manner, be expressed, shared and understood.

Forward then, to some local attempts to capture eternity on at least one side of the coin per chance of making the other side plain to see in the light of heaven. Good fortune to one and all.

~ Notes in formation ~

~

Note B* Added 04 January 2010

Alert dear people - alert! The illusion of being is to think that any one moment is just like another! Time loses its linear meaning and habit circles develop that create then moments that appear to be now moments. The thought that 'it's just another day' causes the mind to lose its sharp experience of the truth - the experience that is, of self.

If you are here it is because there remain certain questions living active lives in the back of your mind. Questions like WHY AM I? Or WHAT AM I? And then perhaps WHO AM I? And HOW AM I? Chances are, you are not who you might think.

There are notable and definable boundaries between certain parts of the human psyche. Conscious awareness of the 'now experience' provides a certain attribute to existence, namely the temporal now and not now. The normal abstract method of time perception can fluctuate between awareness of single static ego-object interpretations of now moments, to an awareness of flow, of measuring a 'string', of a subjective experience of a now moment, to the realisation that the now moment is a fluidic state of variable change encompassed within a sphere of awareness.

So one can exist as an experience of time, that has length in a linear way and so is expressible geometrically through objective symbolism. Its beginning can be thought of as a point emanating from a fixed position in three dimensional space and time, flowing outwards and expanding spherically like a pulse from a center, creating a fourth dimensional arrow that appears to be all the previous dimensions rolled into one. The span of conscious awareness is then directly proportional to the diameter that encompasses the sphere of the emanating pulse. As a person's concentration deepens and lengthens, this diameter gets longer and may display both positive and negative linear aspects of conscious experience as a respective radius. As the diameter of the sphere of consciousness has a growing point of awareness in equal lengths from an abstract source (radius), it is possible to perceive two basic mind states (the beginning and ends) as being the same subject that is viewable from different ends, namely a future and a past. Experience of the true self (towards divinity) is dependent on the length of conscious effort towards experiencing this aspect of being. When the interpretation of such uncommon complexity eventually fails, the natural focus collapses (returns) to a perception of the ego self and a now noticeable 'other'.

Humans create idiosyncratic relationships to their respective worlds, and can sometimes create inner suffering by denying natural instincts like unexpected sensory perceptions or other mental anomalies that do not commonly fit into the widely accepted paradigm of being a consuming human being. Instead of exploring the possibilities, it seems easier to classify and edit instead of learning to find relevance in the apparently ordinary. Without equality in a system of reality, the strongest or the loudest can appear to be the great channels of wisdom. Even though humans react to the experience of reality internally and perhaps spasmodically, without understanding, it can still form the basis for how reality is expected in all future states.

What is clear at the moment is that an alert state (attention) achieves clarity, and clarity requires nothing other than what is already present in ones own experience of life. To desire something 'other' in order to reach fulfillment, is to imply imperfection or dependency away from the truth of what is already available. In this way, if heaven really exists because it is eternal, then that means that it exists right now, somewhere and for all time.

jack