"Maps, symbols, mandalas, petroglyphs and other symbolic works are used all over the world to express the link between the inner and the outer, between the self and the world, the individual and the environment. Such maps enrich us and bind us together. As we have seen, they are synchronicities, patterns of meaning and connection between the mental, spiritual and material worlds."

Taken from The Philosophers Stone - Chaos, Synchronicity and the hidden order of the world.'

By F.David Peat

In the 1990s the known world was being introduced to electronically created communication channels as an array of vast connections emerged that could link people from as far away as the web of technology could reach. This site was originally created in 1997 so that a few things of philosophical and spiritual interest could be shared with others over this stabilised net of information.

How Did This Happen?

There came one night the experience of a type of personal disassociation, when while seated at a desk in a room alone, with a mind whirling in a moment of distraction, there sparked an idea to open and begin to use Windows Paint on a nearby personal computer. There was no particular rational vector or goal for this decision, just a suddenly active curiosity that had overwhelmed the normally relaxed ego by the power of its own instinct, fueled by some spontaneous interest in creation of some kind. Consciously, the decision was recognised simply as a way to distract the sense of earth whilst the mind and soul worked with inner constructs. So slowly the mouse moved and clicked upon the screen in a mysteriously unknown but organized manner that soon seemed well on its way to creating a 'random' object over the course of the apparent moments. The main attention of self however, was primarily focused on the conceptualization of timeless existential conundrums in the divine space, as was one's due.

It was in these moments that as the ego thought and reasoned with the mind to reorganise the fixed pieces of its notions and predictions along the lines and axis of its internally derived calculations, that attention slowly diverted towards the bright screen of the computer monitor where something strange was noted about the objects that were being created. Something in the mind's object recognition system was being alerted to the lines and colors being displayed. They were very clearly and definitely organized. There was no doubt about it. This was when THIS image came into the world on my computer at the behest of some part of my will, but not with my conscious rational intention. Examining the image further I realized the complexity of the ideas connected with it, and finally concluded that the associated meanings were both of a deeply personal and introspective nature, as well as being incredibly holistic and dare one say; 'cosmic' in intention. Although on the face of it, the image really was simple and minimalist, it was at the same time profound and intimately evolutionary, especially because I could not account for it in my planning or expected it from my known limited talents at the time.

Through the passage of years since that night and further investigation into human awareness and the boundary dissolving compounds supplied by the universe, I slowly found my world opening up in ways I didn't know were possible. The subsequent thoughts, feelings and insights emerging from the images that kept appearing on my screen, as well as the deeper interests behind them, began a continuous drive to further define this site, its content and its purpose.

The Design

Perhaps because I wanted the site to resemble the experience of a book, the site was created with a front page or cover that gives a color or tone to what awaits beyond.

The first web site background design of this 'front cover' was across a white image, in direct opposition to the popular black background sites I had become accustomed to viewing on the web at the time. The image of Jack B Nimble graced the front alone. The image itself was not created by me, but something I had downloaded from a shared network so was impossible to trace or find very much information about. Even so, the abstract nature of the image spoke to me about the path ahead.

The next site design for the front cover was slightly more brazen, as I was growing in confidence with the drawing software and could see the multiple ways one could represent the interesting tools that I seemed to have uncovered. The word Conundrum also came into view even though the site address was still cyjack.com. In this image, the brightness of thought, the metaphor of the moon, astral space in the midst of red biological cell life and the vertical presentation of the totem were the themes wishing to be expressed. I felt that I had found a new language with which to communicate emotional relationships with, and it allowed access to some amazing experiences. In many ways, because I was uncertain of the full scope of the light and of the role I had to play in it, all things appeared to be a conundrum to me.

The next site design was still labeled Conundrum but with a more integrated feeling. This next change was the real 'turning of the page' in terms of feeling comfortable with what was happening and I was more confident that I was not going crazy, but just steering through socially unmentionable cultural taboos. Now armed with the similar experiences of Terence McKenna (TMK) and the powerful influences of the Overmind, it was full steam ahead for this ship along the ocean of chaos. Pictures like THIS, THIS and THIS were leading me deeper into the causal matrix and to my good fortune, I felt very much at home.

Having then reached the hub of what I could only describe as the Holy Grail, I felt no need to post a separate front door for the next site transformation I instead went with a front index page of links with as little direct verbal explanation of anything as possible. I felt that my experiences and conclusions were becoming clearer and sharper, thus more and more separate from the normally constructed world of television and simian law, so I was attempting to create as much ambiguity as possible to distract from my paddling through the turbulence of tightly expected social order.

Some time later, believing that there was no point in trying to be creative if I could not also be honest and allow my written work to accompany the abstract art as it had always done in my local sphere, I adopted a more user friendly style of organisation incorporating visual and auditory jewels as well as the always present ambiguity. I also hoped to verbalise more complex ideas so as to complete a portion of this perceived 'human wave' that we are all trying to ride.

Then for several years, this colored banner I loved so much greeted new travelers at the entrance to the site. This picture was such a wonder to me that I found it hard to let go of it. On the day it appeared, the image represented the idea of life being a point in the center of an array of movement - represented by color. The adjacent particle represented by the red sphere (not shown in this image) was my consciousness supposedly coming closer to the center of being. Of course at all times I am reminded by friends and family that it is also "a pretty picture".

Thus the site will inevitably change through the passage of moments and I am certain that the future will surprise me as much as it does anyone else. After all, there is much more to this moment than meets the senses. Isn't there?

"We don't actually know what our predicament is. We are up against a phenomenon which we can barely bring into focus in our cognitive sphere; and its the phenomenon of our own existence."

- Terence McKenna

"As a general rule, the unconscious aspect of any event is revealed to us in dreams, where it appears not as a rational thought but as a symbolic image. As a matter of history, it was the study of dreams that first enabled psychologists to investigate the unconscious aspects of conscious psychic events.
It is on such evidence that psychologists assume the existence of an unconscious psyche - though many scientists and philosophers deny its existence. They argue naively, that such an assumption imply's the existence of two "subjects", or (to put it in a common phrase) two personalities within the same individual. But this is exactly what it does imply - quite correctly. And it is one of the curses of modern man that many people suffer from this divided personality. It is by no means a pathological symptom; it is a normal fact that can be observed at any time and everywhere. It is not merely the neurotic whose right hand does not know what the left hand is doing. This predicament is a symptom of a general unconsciousness that is the undeniable common inheritance of all mankind."

- Dr Carl Jung : 'Approaching the Unconscious'

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Some notes..written 22 January 2009, revised recently 8^/ .

How can matter have no substance?

Put simply, one of the main aims of this site and hence the information contained within and without it, is to express, to point out, to make reference to, the presence of a universal truth existing as a primordial fabric of all things; detectable by all but remaining unseen - provable by anyone, but with few experts. That is, to suggest that there is available to all and any, a sort of undeniable, plainly describable truth that can be a personal point of contact to something more real and of greater relevance and importance than what could ever possibly be offered in either the human markets of objects and their hierarchies, or the cultures of memory and their repetition.

In the hopes of creating greater clarity concerning the direction of these words, it should be noted that this 'something' which is being discussed is not just some mystical thing, and not just some abstract thing, or just some ineffable thing created to sell books or mystery or momentary intrigue, but in truth, it is THE thing; that which is more than just a thing, that which creates, binds, sustains and dissolves all things. This is, something so immense and intricate that it crosses the very borders of description, sensation and comprehension. It is that which can be said to be both a thing and not a thing because all things come from this, exist in this and return to this.

As with most universal anomalies, it is easy to be grateful that what is being shared on this site did not begin here. It can be found to have been related through the endless generations, in many different languages and from varying geographic and cultural environments. That which has been praised for eons past is praised here, and the only issue arising from this particular celebration of light and life and beauty, is the fact that it remains to the masses of human experiences, the most hidden and seemingly invisible truth that western society has yet to touch. Perhaps so because it cannot be held by the grip of blindness like culture or history. It can only be embraced by submitting to its authenticity, and this act, cannot be taken without first dissolving the ignorance of ones own personal misunderstanding; the ego.

What is being attempted on this site then, is not a completely individual venture per se, as although it is a single celebration of the most immediate, it is intended to be a celebration of the united human experience. It will not be easy, this is understood. From the moment we human beings are brought into the world of family and culture and history, we are bombarded with all manner of restrictions and expectations that only exist in, and are exclusively maintained by, the humans in the world. These concepts are then continuously echoed as they are expressed in the arts, communications and personal relations so that each new generation becomes bound in a similar way as the last. In a sense, we have special 'lenses' forced upon us that distort our perceptions and priorities making the realization of that which is truly real, beautiful and eternal, very difficult, and perhaps ultimately unlikely. Much like what happens to livestock and other life forms that are manipulated into the machines of industry.

To Start -

Most of the content of this site is a direct result of having empty and open hands in accordance with an entropic theory concerning the relationship between an end and a beginning of time. More specifically, one starts their meditation with everything that one is carrying in the moment, then creates an optimized vector or goal, and finally as one experiences the passage of time towards an apparent change from the start, one slowly sheds those things which are no longer relevant to the moment. Through the shedding of weight and detritus, something new arises or comes into view. It is this journey of reflection on the arising and dissolving of moments that allows the initiation of a distinctly personal 'awakening adaptation' to reality, which then enables what was naturally being lost to be kept, and what was being taken in to be better organized. This then allows the encompassing and integration of new and for all practical purposes, self evolving mechanisms and arts operating coherently in conjunction with an almost irrational (irrational to the west, rational to the east) open receptivity to cosmic information. This may be due to the inevitable natural complexity that arises from finally becoming a definable part of an ever fractalizing matrix.

To navigate the time we find ourselves in, we naturally seek what we lack and what we lack is what ever arrives for inspection in the foyer of our conscious space, from a number of different channels. In most waking moments then, we do not recognize the completeness of being as that which began an eternity ago beyond the point of our own first conceptions and now resides in the vortex of moments and movements of a vehicle created of matter so fine and distinct that its parts are invisible to the clothed or clouded mind. Thus blinded to the truth, we have become each others great questions finding ourselves in the midst of a chaotic mystery. Although we are taught by our forebears that the answers to life are best handled by creating more questions, the author suggests that the real and obvious answers are already present somewhere and somehow, and that they, or it, need only to be recognized and accepted as one might recognize and accept ones very self.

There will always be the perception of this eternal quality that might be described as both an essence without separating qualities and yet still distinctly definable, but also as a space between the moments of normal waking expectations and something so 'other' and so compelling, that it can overwhelm ones attention when successfully observed. Such is the power and ineffable wonder of life's true gifts. Such are the rewards of sincere and heart felt commitments.

The moments of this perception can evolve many rays of light to pass into being that allow for the recognition and acceptance of a terra firma on which all idiosyncrasies can meet and come together and yet still be distinctly unique. Without this common ground we could not ever translate the deep inner time into symbolic and rhythmic channels. It is in and on this common ground that we find ourselves both with and without each other. Here perhaps lies a true conundrum of being that is often glossed over by starry eyed individuals caught in the confusion of their predicament who spend their time looking afar instead of close by. They receive ideas but do not ask where the ideas come from. They propose grand ideas, but do not say where the grand ideas came from.

It is through logical compositions like these that vectors to truth, that were found by the author in ancient tongues from very different places, are repeated here; somewhat submerged between the spaces in the dialogue so as to reach the intimate and sometimes abandoned channels of universal cosmic awakening.

From the simple acceptance that life is not some unsolvable mystery found in a dusty book or foreign land, it does not seem unreasonable to suggest that the greatest mysteries of the cosmos are no further away than ones own finger tips and that the type of care and respect given to this experience that we call life is what enables higher and lower functions to come into highly organized states of existence. In the old languages the term used to describe these states and the actions arising from these states was "Virtuous". The ignorance of this undeniable fact creates a confusion called the 'ego' and the aspects of its inevitable characteristics are found in the Tao, the timeless description of the ultimate relationship of absolutes.

To be touched by things that have no weight is to sense the open spaces ahead. Movement into this space is the challenge, and heeding the light is the key. And that light is this:

Logical mortal progressions occur step by step and one at a time. Rational spiritual progressions occur at once and in all their possible completeness.

Do you follow the many or the one?

Are you looking behind or ahead?

Peace Unity Illumination